If I add it all up and my knowledge of how you think, it is quite possible you are thinking 'I may respond after I have completely secured my perfect husband.'

You may think that would put you in a position of positivity and strength, relative to me, before you engage again with me.

Here is the thing, or a quote "A lot of people are practicing emotional avoidance and call it positive mindset.". You know that I know you very well. I do not claim to be a God who knows it all. I just have spent and invested significant time to really know who you are.

I learned and developed deep empathy for you. That is what kept me going all that time.

Knowing the raw Shan Shan behind the perfectly presented Shan Shan has always been the reason why I stuck around, and why now I care enough to keep inquiring why you are so upset with me and avoiding me completely.

Your reaction toward me now might be the thought of wanting to wait till you achieve the goal of perfectly securing the perfect husband, or advice from your friends who did or did not find their forever and ever relationship, or combination of both.

Regardless of which one, the long-term result that would matter. I keep on reaching out because of that empathy I developed for you. At first, I thought was codependency, but then working with therapist, I realize is not at all.

I just saw in you in me in a way. I developed understanding and empathy for myself right before I met you, and in turn I did for you.

So do not think by holding off and waiting until you achieve your husband goal, you then be ready to respond or even run into me without feeling anxious or insecure.

This was the pattern of thinking you have had and followed in the past, am I wrong? Did it lead to success for you? Don’t you think by practicing emotional avoidance rather working on treating the core underlying issue repeats the pattern of unsuccess of having your husband goal achieved and kept for longer time.

You might read this and get in the defensive mood of “I will show him how I will have the perfect relationship.” For example, you might choose to put bandages on a relationship you are in just to prove me wrong.

Don’t. Because I know you well, I know how you think and react. So it would not have the intended or unintended effect of me. All I will feel is sadness. Sadness that the real raw Shan Shan who I fell in love with you would be forever buried under non-real public persona.

Dating & Relationship Coach. Deep interest in Social Psychology, FinTech, Deep Tech, and Quant Finance Nerd

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