You are very wrong about me now. You maybe allowing unfounded assumptions to scare you away. Think of it. I understand and empathize with you; yet it’s very hard to be okay with it. Again, your assumptions, no matter what they are, if they’re causing you to continue to act in such a way, they are wrong. And I’m confident in that.
You choosing to forgive or not is a choice.
In other more happy news, I successfully cut my adderral dose to 10mg a day; that’s 1/2 a pill a day, and I skip Sundays. Plus only 1 5mg melatonin put me easily in deep sleep.
Listening to binureal frequently, mediation + Bacopa monnieri and some health hygiene changes all paid off. If I continue on this trend, I'm projecting by the the 3rd week of March, I'll break my enslavement from Adderral for good!!! Including being able to live anywhere in the world.
All my frustration is predicated on the fact that you are my first truly close best and closest friend whom I trusted. While the romantic part was acutely painful at first, the pain of such discard of what has been a very very close friendship is persistently chronic.
It's much easier than you think to be on good terms, Shan!