How can I save my relationship?

How can you tell whether a relationship is going to last the course — or whether it’s doomed to founder? And what’s the difference between fragile and solid couples?

Here are some of the things to look out for:

Over-optimism about Relationships

Fragile couples tend, paradoxically, to be very hopeful about relationships. They associate happiness with conflict-free unions. They do not expect, once they have found the person they see as ‘The One,’ ever to need to squabble, storm out of a room or feel unhappy for the afternoon.

Shame

A shamed person has fundamental doubts about their right to exist: somewhere in the past, they have been imbued with an impression that they do not matter very much, that their feelings should be ignored, that their happiness is not a priority, that their words do not count.

Excessive Anxiety

Complaining well requires an impression that not everything depends on the complaint being heard perfectly. Were the lesson to go wrong, were the other to prove uncompromising, one could survive and take one’s love elsewhere.

Excessive Pride

It takes an inner dignity not to mind too much about having to level complaints around things that could sound laughably ‘small’ or that leave one open to being described as petty or needy.

Hopelessness about Dialogue

Fragile couples often come together with few positive childhood memories of conversations working out: early role models may simply have screamed and then despaired of one another.

The good news is that knowing a little about the risk factors can help us identify them in good time!

Dating & Relationship Coach. Deep interest in Social Psychology, FinTech, Deep Tech, and Quant Finance Nerd